


Falling Not Flying

by Writing_Wren



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, undeclared feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5763379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_Wren/pseuds/Writing_Wren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By request.<br/>Cat has a nightmare post episode 9 that features Kara and Supergirl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Not Flying

"I never realised how absurd you look in that ridiculous outfit. Blue, yellow, and red. It's like a colour wheel threw up."

A few days ago she almost certainly wouldn't have said such a thing to the young heroine. Thought it yes, but never have said it. Especially not in lieu of a greeting. Then again a few days ago Supergirl was more an ideal than a person, even to Cat. An embodiment of strength and beauty, shrouded in mystery. Desirable because she was unobtainable.

And of course Cat desired her. How could she not?

The woman in the cape was alluring and not just for something as simple as her looks. The confidence she carried, the kindness she showed, even to those who seemed undeserving. The way she spoke to Cat with the respect of an equal. Not putting herself above Cat because of her powers but refusing to act as if she was less. Very few people in the world stood before Cat without either trying to look down on her, or cowering.

A chuckle filtered into Cat's consciousness. The sound so incredibly familiar and yet new. It reminded Cat why she now dared to greet Supergirl in such an unconventional manner.

It was because she knew that laugh, knew who it belonged to. She had been hearing it weekly for years. It was Kara's laugh. Normally when Kara laughed in Cat's presence there was a strained note of nervousness to it. Now however it was steady and rich, full of Supergirl's confidence, but still unmistakably Kara's laugh.

Kara's laugh was the kind of sound that could captivate others and lift their spirits by hearing it. The fact that Cat so rarely got to hear it untainted like this hurt. She knew it was no fault of the younger womans. Cat put a great deal of effort into seeming disinterested, or even dismissive of her assistants existence. She couldn't very well risk the chance of becoming the stereotypical boss lusting after her assistant, something she sometimes felt she was in very real danger of.

Cat had been so careful during her selection process to try and pick someone that no one would think to start rumours about. She probably could have achieved this by choosing someone thoroughly unattractive but that still held a modicum a risk. If she didn't have to work as hard to push them away then she may inadvertently come across as kind and open herself up to rumours anyway. No what Cat had needed was someone whose personality was so far opposite of hers that no one would ever believe them to compatible, yet still strong willed enough to survive working to Cat's admittedly high standards.

Several assistants had come and gone, either fired for their incompetence or leaving after an emotional breakdown. Only Kara had managed to hold out. Not just hold out. Thrive. Of course there were times when the girl struggled but she'd take it in her stride with a kind of unexpected determination that had captured Cat's attention. Which was what caused things to spiral. First she had noticed her determination, then her earnestness, then her kindness. The first time she had thought of the girls nervous habit of playing with her glasses as cute Cat had left early for the day and gone home to drown the thought out in bourbon.

When Supergirl had arrived on the scene and Cat had begun feeling attracted to her the Queen of Media had be relieved. Young, blonde, bright. The perfect way to channel her feelings for her assistant without the possibility of becoming something she would need to worry about.

Well that had certainly backfired on her.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Miss Grant, but James Olson said you wanted to see me. Something about you thinking your assistant was me?"

Cat allows herself a moment to regard the woman standing before her, wondering how she could never have seen the physical similarities before. Even if Kara insisted on hiding behind those horrid sweaters and cheap rimmed glasses Cat had built an empire out of noticing what people didn't want noticed and exploiting it.

Despite what Cat might have said when Kara arrived the girl did look stunning in her suit. It clung to all of the right places without being overtly sexual. The cape fluttering from her shoulders was, though Cat would never say it aloud, what tied the piece together.

"Oh for god's sake, are we going to keep on playing this tiresome game" Cat asks, more than a little exasperated. She knew that Kara could be stubborn, but there were limits.

"I told you it wasn't a game, Miss Grant" Kara said, walking in from the bullpen. Cat froze.

Logically it should have been impossible. But reality did not appear to agree. Kara could not be coming in from the office floor because Supergirl was already standing in the office. And Supergirl was Kara. Cat knew it. She had double checked and triple checked her evidence before approaching Kara. The only explanation that fit the evidence she had gathered was that Kara was Supergirl. And yet.

"I'm afraid I can't stay long, there are a lot of people out there who need help. As you well know." The enigmatic hero turns to Kara and Cat still can't believe she's seeing this. "Nice to meet you by the way."

"Nice to meet you too" Kara says, her normal mild-mannered self. "I really like your outfit." There is something slightly teasing about her assistants tone, but not towards the hero, towards Cat, it's as if she knows Cat insulted it when Supergirl arrived.

"I like your glasses" Supergirl offers in return, a charming smile accompanying her words.

"Thanks" Kara says returning the smile. And then they both chuckle slightly, and Cat will be damned if they don't sound the same.

She can't handle this. She wasn't wrong. She couldn't be. Could she?

She cleared her throat.

"We're finished here. Kara, stop treating Supergirl like she's your personal assistant, she has important work to do. As do you. This bottle will not refill itself."

When in doubt, snark. It was a carefully crafted survival skill that Cat has developed over the years. People rarely think someone confident enough to be barking orders and being a bitch is feeling out of their depth.

If Kara and Supergirl hear her they don't let on. They're still just standing there smiling at one another. If it weren't for the different outfits Cat would almost believe her assistant was smiling at herself in a mirror.

"Really now? This my office and I have work to-"

"So how does a sweet girl like you end up the assistant to Cat Grant" Supergirl asks Kara, apparently uncaring of the fact that Cat had been speaking. The barest hint of a blush colours Kara's cheeks at being called sweet by the hero.

"Well I had originally planned to apply for the journalism internship" Kara admits, in a conspiratorial tone. "But then the apartment building I had been living in got sold to a developer and I had to move, there weren't any I would be able to afford if I didn't have a full time job, Miss Grant had just fired another assistant and human resources were scrambling trying to find someone so." She trails off with a slight shrug. "I thought I'd become a reporter, tell people the stories they needed to hear, maybe help make a difference. It seems silly to say that to a bonafide hero. You're out there making a difference in people's lives everyday."

And there is that cute little glasses tic.

Cat lets out a scoff of false disdain trying to purge herself of her previous thought. What she's pretending to be disdainful of she's not sure. Perhaps the idea of Kara being a full fledged journalist. Cat is perfectly aware that Kara has what it takes to be a brilliant reporter, she may come across as innocent and naive but, she's far stronger and more determined than people give her credit for. Or perhaps she's scoffing in actual disdain at the way Kara is looking at Supergirl through half lowered lids.

Neither woman so much as glances in the direction of the noise.

"I don't think it sounds silly at all" Supergirl says sincerely. "It's not like I do all this hero stuff without help. Most of the time the real heroes are the ones without supersuits. Sometimes they're blonde with nice glasses in cute sweaters." Supergirl flashes Kara a dazzling grin and Cat can feel the hackles raising on the back of her neck.

"Yes, yes, the world is full of everyday heroes, very inspiring, very cliché, if you two are quite finished now, I'm sure we all have work to be getting on with." She walks right up to them as she speaks, well into the personal space of each woman, but still she is ignored.

"You think my sweater is cute" Kara asks, a blush giving her cheeks a healthy glow. "Miss Grant is always calling it a polyester monstrosity."

"Miss Grant should stop being a price snob for two seconds and recognize how beautiful you look."

"Excuse you" Cat cries, anger exploding inside of her. "I never said Kara wasn't beautiful, only that she was using cheap materials to look so. I am perfectly aware of how beautiful Kara is, I am also aware of my position as her employer. How dare you-"

"I'm not sure she's ever going to recognize that, most days I'm not even sure she sees me, I mean she can't even get my name right" Kara says, fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve. The way her eyes flicker to the ground and the smile she's been wearing while talking to Supergirl dims a little is almost physically painful. She honestly seems to believe Cat thinks nothing of her. Which of course was the purpose of the insults and the incorrect use of Keira instead of Kara. To see it affecting Kara like this however brings Cat's brain almost to a full stop.

She's cut off Cat as if she wasn't almost shouting less than a foot away from her without even raising her voice and it makes Cat reel back a step. She's never been so blatantly ignored by anyone before, and she never imagined Kara could shut her out like this. The girl has jumped to attention at little more than a whisper for Cat over the past few years.

"But thank you for the sentiment" Kara continues, eyes returning to Supergirl's face, her smile regaining the brightness it had lost. "For what it's worth, I think you look beautiful too."

Cat all but collapses onto the couch behind her, watching dumbstruck, as Supergirl steps further into Kara's personal space with a radiant smile. There is barely an inch of space between them and the possessive streak in Cat that could probably swallow National City flares. Her body however refuses to move even as Supergirl's fingers reach out to brush Kara's wrist.

"Come fly with me" Supergirl says. Her voice is soft, coaxing almost.

For the first time in what feels like eternity Kara's eyes flicker to Cat, there is uncertainty there, perhaps even fear. Not because she doesn't want to go. Because she's scared she can't escape Cat. A dark yawning pit of emptiness begins to swirl in the bottom of Cat's stomach.

"She can't cling to you forever Kara, come fly with me, come be free" Supergirl says, her voice little more than a whisper to Cat's ears. Her fingers encircle Kara's wrist dragging Kara's attention back to her. Kara nods, ever so slightly and then they're walking out to the balcony, still staring in each other's eyes.

Finally Cat's body begins to respond to the commands she's been sending and she lurches into action. Racing to the balcony just in time to Supergirl and Kara begin to take off. Kara's arms around Supergirl's neck, Supergirl's arms around Kara's waist, their bodies pressed flush together.

Cat's vocal cords seize as she tries to call out for Kara to come back, fear of losing the younger woman propelling her forward even as the floating pair move well beyond the edge of the balcony. Cat doesn't realise what's happening until she's falling. Still unable to utter a sound as air whooshes by her. Hands outstretched for Kara floating above her in the arms of the superhero, both of whom show no sign of noticing Cat at all.

The last thing she sees out of her periphery is the glow of the exit sign above the emergency side door, her eyes still fixed on the hovering figures above her, and then.

"KARA!"

She rockets into a sitting position. Sweat pouring down her back, breath escaping her in choking gasps, tears blinding her to her surroundings. In clumsy awkward motions she untangles her legs from her sheets and hugs them to herself, tucking her knees beneath her chin, trying to lessen the way her body is shaking.

"It wasn't real." She forces the words past her lips. "It was just a dream." She closes her eyes and takes a shuddery breath in. "It didn't happen like that." She takes another breath trying to focus on her heart thundering in her chest. "You're safe in bed."

The verbal affirmations that she is truly awake and no longer dreaming aren't as half as comforting as she would like. Her body continues to shake, tears refusing to relent. Cat changes tactics, her mind automatically providing her with strategies she thought she had forgotten years ago.

First, five things she can feel.

One, her heart pounding against her ribs, accelerated but even. Two, the way her belly expands as she sucks air into her lungs, and the way is clenches as the air is forcefully expelled as a sob. Three, the contrasting feelings of her silk nightdress and it's lace trim where they are pressing into her leg. Four, the shifting of the mattress, dipping and springing back beneath her feet and buttocks as she rocks herself ever so slightly. Five, a cool breeze from the window she had left cracked open across the room playing across her skin, the way it makes the beads of sweat burn cold against her flushed skin.

Wedging her eyes open she tries to blink away the worst of the tears so she can list five things she can see.

One, the sheets pooled and crumpled around her feet, the crisp white mottled with gray where the creases and folds create shadows in the dim light. Two, the flutter of the curtains as the breeze still slowly cooling her skin, makes them move, like someone blowing gently on a piece of tissue paper. The movement of the fabric affords her a brief glimpse of the sky that seems to beginning to lighten. Three, the hard edged frame of her wardrobe door, the way the light and shadow make the slats on the door appear to be nothing more than painted stripes, the barely there glint of light reflecting off the polished metal handle. Four, the rounded shape of her vanity mirror, expanding out to connect to the main body of the piece of furniture, the items on its surface barely more than silhouettes in the low light. Five, the pale blue satin robe hanging from the back of her bedroom door, the hallway light bleeding in from underneath, on in case Carter needs-

Carter. A whole new panic threatens to overtake Cat now, banishing the dream from the forefront of her mind. Carter is staying with her tonight. The light is on in case he needs Cat during the night. What if he heard her calling out for Kara? What if he's heard her crying?

Motherly instinct, the need to check on her baby boy, is what forces Cat's limbs to cooperate as she forces herself from her bed and tugs on the robe as she walks the few short feet down the hall to Carter's bedroom door. Standing outside she can't hear any sign of him being awake but that isn't enough.

Carefully, mindful of the fact that he may really still be asleep, she pushes the door open. Well oiled hinges keep it from squeaking much to Cat's approval. A breath she didn't realise she was holding rushes from her in a sigh of relief when she sees his peacefully sleeping face. Unable to resist the comfort she knows it will give her, she tip toes forward and presses a soft kiss to his forehead all the while praying to whoever might be listening that it won't wake him. Thankfully it doesn't. After cautiously bringing his blankets up under his chin a little tighter she backs out of the room, closing the door just as carefully as she had opened it.

Still shaken by the events of the morning Cat drags her body to the kitchen. The small display screen on the coffee maker informs her that it is only quarter to five but Cat knows there is little chance of her getting back to sleep now anyway. She checks the filter, fills the water, and presses the on switch mechanically before sitting at the island counter and heaving a sigh.

Something is going to have to be done about her feelings for Kara. She can't afford to have another dream like that. Particularly while Carter is with her. She got lucky this time but that won't guarantee a next time. He doesn't need to see his mother fall apart like that, and she has no idea how she'd go about explaining it to him if he did.

The coffee machine beeps to say it's done and Cat goes about making her cup of coffee on autopilot, adding a heavy dose of cream that would never go near her cup around anyone except for Carter, she needs something to help soothe her nerves. After all she only has three hours to figure out how she's going to face this Kara situation and heaven knows, it's nowhere near enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I really think I could expand on this story, but right now I'm not clear enough on where I want to take it to proceed, so I'm going to wait until I have a clearer idea (and some more time) before doing anything. If I do this will remain a oneshot and be made part one of a series.


End file.
